Did you hear the news today? I'm not coming home.

Sigh. Prayers would be appreciated right now. If this were a perfect world, I would be in Madrid only about an hour away from boarding a plane to take me home. But this is not a perfect world. And here I find myself sitting once again in the student lounge at the school. I'm still in Sevilla. And I only want one thing. I only want to go home.

My alarm was supposed to go off at 4:00 this morning. Maybe it did. Maybe it didn't. But the only thing I heard was Erin's alarm at 6:15. The plane was supposed to take off at 7. I jumped up and woke Erin, started totally freaking out, and decided to call Leslie (the program director). She called a taxi, and after frantically packing the last few things, Erin and I jumped in the taxi and rushed to the airport.

But by the time we got there, it was too late. They were boarding the flight, and I couldn't get on. The next flight to Madrid would be too late to catch the flight to Chicago, and there are no more flights to Chicago today. I called Leslie and my parents and sat with Erin and cried in the airport for a long time. Then we went "home"...back to that apartment on Calle Salado that used to be home, anyway. Carmen was very sympathetic and seems okay with me staying as long as I need to. So I'm thankful for that. But all I want is to go home.

Right now I'm at school, and I'm feeling a bit better about things. Ana Bello and Leslie are helping me look for flights. It's going to be okay. I just keep thinking about what might have been. How I should be sleeping in my own bed tonight. How I should be hugging my parents this afternoon and seeing my Taylor girls Sunday. And I'm mad at myself for not waking up on time. But there's nothing I can do about it now. Sigh. I know I'll get home. But I wish I was on that airplane with Sarah and everyone else. Right now I have no idea when I'll get to come home. Hopefully tomorrow. But I don't know.

The biggest blessing is that Erin is here with me. She isn't leaving until Monday. She went to the airport with me this morning and is keeping me from going totally insane. It is so nice to not be alone. Without her I would...I don't even know. She keeps reminding me that God has a plan. I know she's right. Sigh. Ana Bello and Leslie are being so great and helpful too. And the good thing is that I have been able to laugh a bit. And someday this will make a great story. But right now...I just want to go home.

This reminds me of one of my favorite songs "Daylight" by one of my favorite bands Brave Saint Saturn (http://www.christianrocklyrics.com/bravesaintsaturn/daylight.php for the lyrics). It's about these astronauts who get stuck in space (oops...the first time I typed that, I typed "Spain." Space and Spain are almost the same). The first line of the song is "Did you hear the news today? I'm not coming home. No." That's how I feel right now. But my favorite part of the song is at the end where it says

Jesus Christ, Light of the World, you never did forget me.
And when I bled in darkness, you held me, still held me.
When desperate nights I cursed you, you loved me, still love me.
Jesus Christ, you dry the tears, you break my heart of stone.
Your words of life, cut marrow through the darkness to the bone.
A heart of flesh you gave me.
Only you can save me.
Savior, Daylight, I am coming home.

I have to cling to that. But please pray for me. Pray that I will get home. I don't know what to do. Sevilla is beautiful. But I want to leave. I want to go home. Please pray.