HOME

I just wanted to write one more time to let you all know that I am home. Yes, that's right. I am HOME. It felt so unbelievably wonderful to walk back into my house on Saturday night after over almost 24 hours of traveling and a horrible Friday. So wonderful. It is so good to be home.

I'm really thankful for all of your prayers. And I'm thankful that everything worked out. In the end I got to take the same flight I was supposed to...just 24 hours later. It was sad to have to go by myself without everyone else, but at that point I was just so glad to be coming home.

Everyone at school was so helpful and compassionate on Friday...jumping through all kinds of hoops to help me get home. And it was great to have Erin with me too. Everyone showed me so much love. So I guess it was as good as a horrible day can be.

But now that I'm home I'm still really really wishing that this whole mess didn't happen. Because that's all I can think about. I don't feel like I just got home from 4 months in Spain. I feel like I just got home from one horrific weekend in Spain. Right now I can hardly remember all the good things about the semester. I can only remember how Spain tried to hold me captive at the last minute. I hope I can forget this soon.

Again, thank you so much for your prayers...these last few days and the whole semester. It truly was a good experience. It was difficult for sure but definitely worth it. It is too soon to say exactly how I've changed. I imagine it will take me a while to figure that out. But I can say now that I am so thankful that I had this opportunity. Thanks again everyone. I love you all, and chances are I'll be seeing you soon.

Did you hear the news today? I'm not coming home.

Sigh. Prayers would be appreciated right now. If this were a perfect world, I would be in Madrid only about an hour away from boarding a plane to take me home. But this is not a perfect world. And here I find myself sitting once again in the student lounge at the school. I'm still in Sevilla. And I only want one thing. I only want to go home.

My alarm was supposed to go off at 4:00 this morning. Maybe it did. Maybe it didn't. But the only thing I heard was Erin's alarm at 6:15. The plane was supposed to take off at 7. I jumped up and woke Erin, started totally freaking out, and decided to call Leslie (the program director). She called a taxi, and after frantically packing the last few things, Erin and I jumped in the taxi and rushed to the airport.

But by the time we got there, it was too late. They were boarding the flight, and I couldn't get on. The next flight to Madrid would be too late to catch the flight to Chicago, and there are no more flights to Chicago today. I called Leslie and my parents and sat with Erin and cried in the airport for a long time. Then we went "home"...back to that apartment on Calle Salado that used to be home, anyway. Carmen was very sympathetic and seems okay with me staying as long as I need to. So I'm thankful for that. But all I want is to go home.

Right now I'm at school, and I'm feeling a bit better about things. Ana Bello and Leslie are helping me look for flights. It's going to be okay. I just keep thinking about what might have been. How I should be sleeping in my own bed tonight. How I should be hugging my parents this afternoon and seeing my Taylor girls Sunday. And I'm mad at myself for not waking up on time. But there's nothing I can do about it now. Sigh. I know I'll get home. But I wish I was on that airplane with Sarah and everyone else. Right now I have no idea when I'll get to come home. Hopefully tomorrow. But I don't know.

The biggest blessing is that Erin is here with me. She isn't leaving until Monday. She went to the airport with me this morning and is keeping me from going totally insane. It is so nice to not be alone. Without her I would...I don't even know. She keeps reminding me that God has a plan. I know she's right. Sigh. Ana Bello and Leslie are being so great and helpful too. And the good thing is that I have been able to laugh a bit. And someday this will make a great story. But right now...I just want to go home.

This reminds me of one of my favorite songs "Daylight" by one of my favorite bands Brave Saint Saturn (http://www.christianrocklyrics.com/bravesaintsaturn/daylight.php for the lyrics). It's about these astronauts who get stuck in space (oops...the first time I typed that, I typed "Spain." Space and Spain are almost the same). The first line of the song is "Did you hear the news today? I'm not coming home. No." That's how I feel right now. But my favorite part of the song is at the end where it says

Jesus Christ, Light of the World, you never did forget me.
And when I bled in darkness, you held me, still held me.
When desperate nights I cursed you, you loved me, still love me.
Jesus Christ, you dry the tears, you break my heart of stone.
Your words of life, cut marrow through the darkness to the bone.
A heart of flesh you gave me.
Only you can save me.
Savior, Daylight, I am coming home.

I have to cling to that. But please pray for me. Pray that I will get home. I don't know what to do. Sevilla is beautiful. But I want to leave. I want to go home. Please pray.

End

For the sake of writing one more time, I just want to say that life is kind of insane right now. I have my last exam in an hour and a half (I should probably be cramming right now instead of writing). I'm going to start packing tonight (I'm totally dreading that). Tonight and tomorrow Sarah, Erin, and I are making our last frantic attempts to enjoy Sevilla. And Friday morning we fly out and leave this place forever. Hm. That sounds so final. Right now, I am feeling unbelievably ready to come home. But I really am sad to leave. I know I'll miss this. It's so strange to think that I've lived here for so long, but I may never come back. I'll miss this. But I'm so ready to come home!

Thank you all for your prayers. I love you all so much, and I will see you very very soon!!!!

The Last Day of Classes

So this past weekend was way better than I thought it would be. In fact, it was pretty good. Here are some highlights:

1. Thursday night Pablo and I went bowling. It was super fun, and I was even a little sad to say goodbye to him. Oh, how things have changed...

2. After that Sarah and I went to check out a new ice cream place in La Alameda de Hercules. It was delicious, and we're only sad we didn't discover it earlier in the semester.

3. Friday I studied in the park with Erin, studied in the library (!) with Susanna, and went on another ice cream adventure with Sarah.

4. Saturday, I met up with friends from Taylor (Alix, Mary, and Chris), and I spent the afternoon/evening with them. I had been pretty stressed about that. But it turned out to be so much fun. And I think it was really really good for me because showing them around Sevilla helped me realize all the things that I love about this beautiful city. I really do feel pretty at home here so it was nice to share my "home" with others. Also, it was nice to hear about their semester in Ireland and hear news about Taylor people. Yay.

5. Sunday I had breakfast with Erin at a little cafe (Oh, how I love my roommate!), went to church for the last time (will I really be at First Mennonite next Sunday? Wow.) I met up with the Taylor people again and sent them on their merry way. The rest of the day was spent in studying and being lazy.

It turned out to be a good weekend. But this week is going to be crazy. Today we have our history presentation about La Guerra de Sucesion Espanola. I'm actually feeling really great about that. What I'm not feeling so great about is my exams. Today is the last official day of classes. Tomorrow I have exams in Cuentos and Art, and Wednesday is History. I have not studied nearly as much as I did for my other tests. If I was at Taylor I would be studying my brains out. But for some reason I am feeling very unmotivated here. I think I'll be okay. But I'm just so ready to be done with school.

I feel so strange. In a way I am beyond ready to come home. But it will be sad to say goodbye to Sevilla and to my friends here. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. And there is still much to do. It's going to be a CRAZY week!

The Last Weekend or The Art of Balancing

If you will remember, earlier in the semester I was convinced that I had contracted some rare disease which involved being allergic to weekends. I think I've mostly gotten over that. But here we are...the last weekend looms over me. And I'm afraid.

It just feels like in order to get everything done I should probably plan out every single second of the next week or so. I think the thing I am most frustrated about is our History presentation that is Monday. I've been trying to research, but for some reason it is just really difficult for me right now. It's hard to know how much effort to put into this presentation and studying for my last exams (Tuesday and Wednesday of next week). Because really what I would rather do is just hang out with people here...just enjoy my last bit of Spain.

Another thing that's hard to balance is my extreme happiness to go home with my sadness to leave here. I don't think it's bad to be happy about going home. But I know I can't be so happy about that that I forget to enjoy this here.

Sigh. I feel like I'm going to do this wrong. I don't know how to plan this next week.

Don't worry about me too much. I'm sure it will be a good weekend. I just need to do it carefully.

Feria!

Yikes! Yet again, life is super crazy. The bad thing about having a week off of school is that there are always about a bajillion things to catch up on when I return. Luckily for you, though I should probably have chosen others things from my list, this afternoon I have decided to blog. This past week was very very wonderful. Yes, quite wonderful indeed.

I think I'm going to have the same problem as last time though. So many other things have happened recently that I don't think I'm going to take the time to give a detailed summary of my trip. I will just say that it was incredibly relaxing. My time with Angy was very laid back. We mostly just spent time hanging out in her apartment and talking. Though I also got to: taste lamb cake, eat vegetables!, see the sites of Mainz and Enkenbach, eat authentic German food while listening to an argument about atom bombs in German, display my obscenely horrendous volleyball skills to a group of young Germans, eat Sunday popcorn, and ride a bus with 64 German schoolchildren. So thanks, Angy, for being such a wonderful hostess! I'm so glad I got to come.

Burgos was also lovely and relaxing as well. I enjoyed staying with the Foxes and getting to know my little cousins. It was also interesting to see the sites of Burgos including this neat old monastery and the cathedral (which we had previously studied in Art class). And the cool weather was so refreshing as well. So Fox family, thanks to you also for being wonderful hosts!

I got back to Sevilla late Thursday night (after a 6 hour bus ride from Madrid...not my favorite part of the week). After sleeping in Friday morning I woke up to get my first taste of Feria. Here's a very brief explanation of Feria: La Feria de Abril (April Fair) takes place every year in Sevilla. (I think other cities have Feria also, but Sevilla's is the first...and the best, so I've heard.) Okay...I'm too lazy to type out a whole explanation. These 2 links should provide you with pretty good information: http://www.spanishunlimited.com/spain/fiestas/feriadeabril.asp or http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seville_Fair

So now that you are all informed about the Feria, I can go on with my story. Friday I went over to the Feria grounds by myself (because pretty much everyone else was still traveling). It was so fun to watch the people. I loved seeing all of the women in their crazy colorful dresses. I had seen a lot of dresses in store window during the past few weeks, but I didn't realize that pretty much EVERYONE wears them during Feria. Also it was fun to see all of the horses parading around (though I certainly wasn't anxious to ride one...I think Scoops scarred me for life last semester). I wandered around the whole place, just looking at everything: the costumes, the casetas, the people, the horses, the rides, the food stands, the streamers and lights. Actually it reminded me a lot of Swiss Days. Though there was quite a bit more alcohol flowing than at Swiss Days.

But the thing I realized is that Feria alone is like Swiss Days would be if you were alone. It's fun for a while, but if you have nobody to talk to and no where to go, you don't really want to stay all day. As I wandered Friday I found myself wishing that I had a traje (Flamenco dress) to wear and friends to visit in a caseta. So I really didn't stay all that long Friday afternoon. And I went to bed early that night.

But Saturday? Saturday was a different story. Oh what a day! In the morning Carmen asked me if I wanted to come to the Feria with her and her family. There was some miscommunication at first (due to a bad habit I've developed of just nodding and saying "si" every time she says something I don't understand), but once I understood what she was asking, of course I said yes! And then she said that I could wear one of her trajes!

Around 2 we started to get ready. I felt like I was getting ready for prom or something! I think Carmen really enjoyed dressing me up. The dress that I wore was orange with purple flowers on it. I don't think orange is really my color, but I didn't really care. The dress was a bit tighter in some places than things I generally wear, but I think it actually fit me exactly how it was supposed to. Carmen helped me pin on my shawl thing as well and she pinned a flower in my hair. I felt so Spanish! Carmen had a dress too. What fun!

We met her family (her sister and brother-in-law, their 2 daughters, and the daughters' families) and walked together to the Feria and to a caseta. I really enjoyed walking in a big group, all in our crazy feria clothes. I felt like I was part of the party, and it was great. When we got to the caseta the drinks started flowing. For the first time in the history of my life, I almost (almost) wished that I drank alcohol. Everyone at the Feria drinks this mixed drink (rebujito) of 7-up and some kind of sherry. It looked really refreshing. But after I was coerced into tasting Carmen's (don't worry, all you upholders of the LTC, it was just a baby sip...hardly enough to wet my lips), I decided there was really nothing all that festive or glamorous about drinking what tasted like carbonated nail polish remover. I decided (not like it was that much of a decision...I wasn't going to drink alcohol even if it did taste good) to stick to Coca-cola.

Anyway, we spend the afternoon in the caseta eating and drinking and enjoying ourselves. At one point some of the little girls went out to enjoy the various rides and stuff so I went along. I loved feeling like I was part of the family. I even got to ride on the pirate ship thing with some of the girls. I went home for a while in the afternoon to rest (and to Pans to show Sarah my dress), but then I came back to the caseta for supper. As the night wore on I considered going back to the house to go to bed, but the party continued, and I was enjoying myself. Around 1 in the morning we got chocolate and churros so of course I had to stay for that! In the end we staying into about 2...even the little kids! What a grand fiesta!

This experience has seriously been one of my very favorite things that I've done in Spain so far. It was kind of like prom + pops concert + Swiss Days. And I loved it! It made me feel so entirely immersed in the culture. And it was also really nice to be able to spend a bit more time with Carmen. Yay! Lovely weekend!



(And look at that...I just succeeded in publishing a picture on my blog! Yay! Now you can see Carmen and I in our trajes!)

The only unfortunate thing is that I am now saddled with kind of an icky cold. I think I inhaled a lot of secondhand smoke in the casetas. But hopefully it will pass quickly, and I'll soon be in tip-top shape for the end of classes (only 4 more days!) and exams next week. Wow...this will all be over before I know it. What a crazy time. Sorry if this post has not been very clear. Sometimes it's hard for me to decide what details to include. But at least I wrote something, yes? Feel free to ask a million questions when I come home.

Something

I think I've mentioned recently how I've been feeling a lot of pressure to "make the most of" these last few weeks here. I mentioned that to Lauren the other day, and she said that maybe instead of focusing on making "the most" of this, I should focus on making "something" of it. I think that was good advice. And I think I've been doing a decent job of that lately. In the past week I've done several fun things: I went to the Mercadillo, I went to the Alcazar, I had a picnic, I went to see a movie (in Spanish!), and last night I went to a free Flamenco show. And for lunch yesterday I ate french fries and squid. I mean, you really can't get much more Spanish than that, can you? (Although actually, I didn't love it that much. It tasted okay, but all day I imagined those little squidies squishing around in my stomach. Um...that's less than appetizing.) I've done very little homework this week, but I think it's been really good for me to get out of the house a bit more.

I'm a little nervous though because suddenly it feels like there are about a bajillion things to squeeze into the time here. After vacation next week, we'll have one full week and then the week of exams and going home. There are a lot of things that need to happen during that week. I'm supposed to go bowling with Pablo, I want to take Erin to the cathedral, I want to go shopping with Sarah, I might go to a bull fight, I might go to Granada, and I want to eat more ice cream (perhaps multiple times). And this list does not include school work. In addition to all of those other cool Spanish things, I do want to do well on my last exams. Aaaaaaggggghhhh!!!! So much!

In other news, Feria (a big festival in Sevilla) starts Monday. Hence, tomorrow begins Spring Break 2.0. Here is a rough itinerary:

Friday afternoon: Fly to Germany (Frankfort) with Erin. Take bus to Mainz to meet Angy. Spend night in hotel in Mainz.

Saturday: Send Erin on her merry way (to Israel!!!). View Mainz with Angy. Go to Enkenbach.

Sunday: Enkenbach

Monday afternoon: Fly from Germany (Frankfort) to Madrid. Take metro to bus station. Take bus to Burgos. Meet Brian at bus station.

Tuesday/Wednesday: Burgos with the other Foxes in Spain!

Thursday (or Friday...not sure which yet): Return to Sevilla (most likely via bus)

I honestly don't really know much more than that. I'm looking forward to the trip. I'm really looking forward to being more north than here. It's been really hot lately. And I'm also looking forward to doing a little traveling by myself. I feel so much more experienced now after all of our Semana Santa traveling. I think this trip will be good.

Um...I'm kind of running out of things to say. For the record I may or may not have Internet again until Thursday or Friday of next week. Have a wonderful week everyone! I love you all!!!

Learning...

As discontent as I've been feeling lately, I'm realizing that I've been learning so much here. And that's good. Very good. I like to learn. Yesterday I learned a lot.

1) The Hepatitis B Virus can live in dried blood for up to a week: So I've been working on these online Swiss Village training session things when I have time. Yesterday I learned all about infectious diseases. But more interesting than that is the fact that the day before I did a session about dementia. That was Monday morning, and every Monday night I go to the convent. It was really interesting to go there and try to apply the things I have learned from Swiss Village. I'm realizing that interacting with dementia patients is so much more difficult when there is a language barrier. It is hard for me to know which people are saying things that nobody can understand and which people are saying things that only I am unable to understand. I am looking forward to returning to nursing homes where I can truly interact with people. But at the same time this has been a very good experience.

2) "Parasol" means "Sun-stopper": I'm not sure why I found this so interesting, but in Art class yesterday we saw a Goya painting of a boy holding a parasol over a girl. In Spanish, a parasol is a "Quita Sol" (basically "gets rid of the sun" or something) as opposed to a regular umbrella which is a "paraguas" (stops water). But in the middle of class, it occurred to me that "parasol" must mean "stops the sun." Hmm...Language excites me!

3) Good things come when you least expect them: I had absolutely no reason to think that I would be getting a package yesterday. I mean, I always eagerly peruse the mail table, but I try not to get my hopes up too high. Yesterday I was so very pleasantly surprised to find a box full of treats (including fish crackers just in time for fish cracker day today!) from my family. Yay!

4) You can't actually eat in the Alcazar: Erin, Sarah, and I had planned to have a picnic in the Alcazar (Castle gardens that are beautiful! Also, sometimes affectionately known as "Alcatraz" because that's easier to pronounce than Alcazar with an Andalucian lisp.) Sarah and Erin bought some food at the market and met me after class, we went into the garden and got all set up, and a guard came and told us that we weren't allowed to eat there. Oops. But we moved our happy little picnic out to the Plaza del Triunfo which was nice as well. It's been pretty hot here the past couple days though. I'm not sure if I'd rather have that or the snow I hear they're expecting back home.

5) Medium sized popcorn is definitely big enough: During the first weekend of the semester Sarah, Erin, Michelle, and I participated in a photo scavenger hunt from the school. We won (!) and received free movie tickets (including popcorn and soda!). So last night, Sarah and I finally went to the movies. Historically when Sarah and I go out, if she orders, we always get the wrong size. (For example, twice we've gotten a lot less ice cream than we wanted because I let Sarah order.) But it's a good thing that I ordered last night because otherwise we would have ended up with Grande popcorn instead of Medium. Medium was enough even for someone who loves popcorn as much as I do. It was pretty good. And somewhat interestingly, it was the first time I've ever gotten refreshments in a movie theater. (Oh, the things we do when spending money that isn't ours!)

6) I know a bit more Spanish than I thought: Sarah and I bought tickets for "El Curioso Caso de Benjamin Button." We weren't sure if it was going to be in English or Spanish. It was in Spanish. But we were actually really glad of that. We were surprised how much we were able to understand. I mean, I'm sure we missed some things, but for the most part we followed pretty well. That made me feel really good about myself and my (slowly) increasing Spanish abilities. Yay! I enjoyed the movie a lot more than I thought I would. It was a fun way to spend an evening.

7) Neither the buses nor the metro run at night: It was about 11:30 when we got out of the movie, and we were going to hop on the bus to come home. But when we got on, the bus driver said he couldn't take us because it was too late. So we got off. We were going to take a night bus, but we didn't want to wait so we just walked. We hadn't walked from Nervion since the time we did it with Shirel so we weren't exactly sure if we would be able to find our way. But we did it. Another thing to feel good about!

8) Taking the Los Remedios bridge is not the best way to get back to Triana: The funny thing was that though we didn't get lost on our way from Nervion, I did get a little lost after dropping Sarah off. She lives in the neighborhood Los Remedios. I live in Triana. I've been in Los Remedios many times, but for some reason I got kind of twisted around last night. I'll blame it on the streets that don't run at right angles. I thought I knew where I was headed, but then all of a sudden I was in a completely different street. But I found my way home and lived to tell about it.

Yep. I think that's it. There was much to learn yesterday. I guess there is always much to learn. So that's why I have to try to keep enjoying this. I just have to keep chugging along for about 3 more weeks. 3 weeks? I think I can handle that.

A Broken Promise

I generally try to make it a practice to keep my promises. For this reason I am sorry that I am about to break a promise. Perhaps you will cut me some slack if I say that breaking a promise will keep me from going completely insane. For some reason the thought of blogging about Semana Santa just makes me want to go crazy. So I think I will feel better if I just don't do it. Sorry. For now I'll just say that our trip was incredible. I liked London, and I loved Switzerland. I'm so glad I got to go. Feel free to ask all the questions you want when I come home.

I do believe, however, that I can continue blogging about my Spain life without losing my head. So that is what I am going to attempt to do. Last week was a weird week because we only had 3 day of class (not that I'm complaining!). On Wednesday we went to Italica (ancient Roman ruins). That was fairly interesting. We also got to see a Greek play (Lysistrata) (in Spanish) in the old Roman ampitheater. It was interesting. Actually, the play was pretty raunchy, but it was a good experience.

On Thursday, Gaulo returned! I have no idea where he was, but now my days can start right again with a free newspaper and a friendly "Buenos Dias!" from my favorite 20 Minutos man!

Friday instead of school we went to Ronda which is one of the oldest cities in Spain. It was beautiful! I loved looking at the old buildings and the mountains and such. It was kind of raining, but that wasn't bad because then it wasn't so hot. It was a really good day.

Also fun was that Friday night when we returned, we had a girls night. Sarah, Erin, Chrissa, Santia, and I got pizza and then we ate and watched a movie together in Chrissa and Santia's house. In general, it is not normal for Spanish people to have others over to their houses. But their senora loves students. She even made dessert for us! It was so fun and relaxing.

Saturday was a really lazy day. Chrissa and I went to the gypsy market in the morning, and then I basically didn't do anything else all day. Yesterday was also fairly lazy. But it made for a pretty restful weekend so that's good.

The thing I'm having trouble with right now is motivation. I don't feel like doing school stuff. Or traveling next week. Or making plans so that I can travel next week. Or blogging. But I know that I need to be super intentional about the next few weeks. (It's less than 4 now!) Because if I'm not intentional about enjoying this, I'll have a lot of regrets to bring home with me. And honestly, I'm already worried about everything fitting in my suitcases. I definitely won't have room to bring regrets as well. I feel like if I've made it this far, the next few weeks should be a breeze. But for some reason, this seems so hard. And it seems so hard to keep in touch with everyone. I kind of feel like I should just stop trying. When I get home we can start completely over. Then again, I don't think that's what I really want to do. But please don't take it personally if you don't hear from me much. I promise I do love you. I do miss you. I long to be home and see you all again. But that will come soon enough. Probably much sooner than I think...

A short apology

I must humbly beg your pardon, my faithful readers. It may seem that I have been ignoring you lately. That is partially true. And that is also something that you may (unfortunately) just have to get used to during this last month (yes, that's right...only one more month...crazy!). Life is going to be super crazy during the next few weeks. On Monday I wrote a little blog post just to assure you all that I was indeed alive and safely home in Spain, but somehow it didn't post and part of it got deleted so I never had time to try again. And I know that good intentions only get you so far so I am sorry about that. But I'm writing now. So here you go: I am indeed alive and safely home in Spain.

Wow...Semana Santa. It was such a crazy week. (Crazy in a very very wonderfully good way) You have no idea how much I long to sit down with each of you and have a long talk about this past week, and really, about everything that's happened to me this semester. But for now we will all have to be content with this. And when I come home we can have real story time...complete with loads of photographic illustrations! I don't even really have time for a quick recap now. I'll try to write something this weekend and get it posted Sunday or Monday.

I'm sorry everyone. I hate neglecting you. But there is so much crazy stuff that is going to happen in the next week. Even if I don't talk to you, please know that I love you all so very very much!

Itinerary

Okay. This should be a quick post because I really should be studying for the two tests that I have to take yet today. But I did want to take a little time to let you know what my plans are for the next week or so. Here we go...

Friday: Defeat exams of Cuentos and Arte (after defeating Historia yesterday)

Saturday: Fly from Sevilla to London with Erin. Wait for Sarah in London airport. Locate hostel (hopefully without too much trouble).

Sunday, Monday: Explore London and surrounding area with absolutely no obligations.

Tuesday: Say goodbye to Sarah and fly with Erin to Basel, Switzerland in the afternoon. Take train to find Kristen's relatives in the Bern area. (I'm going to Bern! I'm going to see the real Bern!!!!!)

Wednesday: Bern and surrounding area

Thursday: Take train to Zurich to find Erin's friends.

Friday: Zurich and surrounding area

Saturday: Fly out of Basel in the afternoon to Alicante, Spain (Oh, the bane of my existence!). Catch bus to Sevilla at 9:00 pm.

Sunday: Arrive in Sevilla at 9:30 am. Quite possibly in time for church on Easter Sunday?

Yep. It's going to be a crazy week. I hope it is incredible. I'll be sure to take lots of pictures. Please pray for us while we are gone. I'm still kind of nervous about how things are going to work out...especially with the hostel stuff in London. But I'm sure it will be good. And really...this is incredible! I'm going to London and Switzerland!!!!!

Things are looking good right now though. After today we only have 15 days of school left! And only one more exam week! And yesterday I got a package from Lauren. It was the best thing ever!!!! And now, I should stop writing and do some last minute test cramming. Whew. Life is amazingly insane.

(By the way, I may or may not have Internet access until April 13.)

I love you all!!!!!

Dos Tragedias

Oh no! TWO tragedies in one week! What to do?

Tragedy number 1: Gaulo is missing! The past 5 days that I have come to school, the corner that usually holds the friendly Gaulo and his red cart full of 20 Minutos papers has been mysteriously empty. The first two days I thought I was just too late for him, but the next 3 days I've come earlier, and he still isn't there. I wish I knew what happened to him. I guess maybe the powers that be at 20 Minutos decided to relocate him. But I'm sad. Because now I don't get a free paper. And I don't get to say, "Buenos Dias, Gaulo!" or recieve a friendly "Buenos Dias" from him.

Tragedy number 2: My favorite street in Sevilla is la Avenida de Jose Maria Martinez Sanchez Arjona. I happen to think that is the best name for a street ever. But do you know what they did? They changed the name of the street! Agh! When my family was here, we looked up one day and there was a new sign. Now the street is called "Esperanza de Triana." In my opinion, that really isn't that much shorter than the previous name. At least not enough shorter to make it worth it. But, the Ayuntamiento (city hall) didn't ask my opinion. If I knew Spanish better I would write them a letter. At least Matthew took a picture of the old sign before they changed it. I tried to include the picture in this blog, but Blogger hates me. Oh well.

But, in the grand scheme of things, I don't suppose that either of these "tragedies" are really that big of a deal. This week is going pretty well so far. I'm nervous about exams. But once those are done I'll feel better. And one week from today I'll be leaving London to head to Switzerland! That's crazy! I am thankful for all of these opportunities. It is good to be here.

Highlights of a Crazy Week

Contrary to popular belief, I have not indeed fallen off the face of the Earth. It's just that the past week has been pretty crazy. I'm sorry that I haven't been updating regularly while my family was here. That apology is both to all of you and to myself. It's to you because I've left you in the dark for more than a week. And it's to myself because now in order to bring you back into the light I have to remember everything that happened this week. That's going to be a little tricky...

In the interest of time and space, I'm going to just try to hit the highlights of this past week. I doubt I'll remember it all. In fact, I'll probably forget a lot and get it all in the wrong order and it won't make much sense. But, hey, a little bit is better than none, yes?

Arrival: So my family arrived on Saturday (the 21st). I met them at the airport, and it was so unbelievably wonderful to see them!!!! We rode the bus to the hotel, and then they were very quickly introduced to Spain when we headed to my house to eat a paella lunch prepared by Carmen. It was quite the experience. We had 8 people around a table that usually seats 3 (Fabi and Sergio were still here). I'm sure my family was overwhelmed, but I thought it was kind of fun. It helped to have Fabi and Sergio there because they know a little English, and my family could talk to them a bit. But still, I had to serve as the translator for everyone...a role I found myself in a lot throughout the week.

Soccer: This was probably Matthew's favorite part of the trip. We thought that Sevilla F.C. was playing on Sunday night, but thankfully we decided to go to the stadium Saturday, and we learned that the game had been moved to that night. I got to haggle with a scalper in Spanish which was quite the experience, but I was pretty proud of the fact that I could understand almost everything he said. Anyway, we bought the tickets (not from the scalper) and saw the game, and it was lots of fun. Sevilla won 4 to 1.

Um...this is harder than I thought it would be. I'm struggling to remember details. But other highlights included: visit to the Cathedral (I still LOVE the Giralda!), a flamenco show, a tour of the Plaza de Toros, Italica (Roman ruins that weren't so much a highlight for Matthew and I...but Dad liked them), a concert in the Cathedral, a daytrip to Cadiz, a visit to the Alcazar (gorgeous castle and gardens in Sevilla), etc. It was kind of fun to be somewhat of a tourist in my own "hometown." I did a lot of things that I'm sure I wouldn't have done if they hadn't been here.

A lot of our time together involved food. We tried a lot of really good restaurants while they were here (and a few not so good ones). This was really strange for me because I'm not used to having to go out and capture my meals since Carmen always cooks for us. In fact, meals were probably the most stressful time for me because I had to translate the menus, and I was the only one who could really communicate with the restaurant people. I think we confused a lot of people because it was obvious that Dad was the head of the family and the one with the money, but I was the only person who ever talked to the waiters. But for the most part we were okay, and I did feel pretty good when I could successfully order for everyone. Culinary highlights of the week included an incredible Morroccan restaurant, Italian on the last night, churros, a Cuban place, and of course lots of gelato. I also tried tapas for the first time. Yes, I know it is a bit pathetic that I have been here for 2 months and only just tried tapas (traditional Spanish meal that consists of small appetizer type things), but I maintain the excuse that I never eat out because I get free food. My favorite tapa by far was the fried eggplant with molasses. Yum! It was just really odd to me to eat in restaurants so much, but I did appreciate the fact that I was able to choose my own food. I ate a lot of vegetables and fruit this week!

Actually, the whole week was a little bit more stressful than I imagined it would be. It was kind of tough to balance school and life here with touristy things and spending time with my family. I was really worn out, and I basically neglected all of my studies which is something I am not used to doing. This all made me sad because I had been looking forward to my family coming for so long, and then I was almost too tired and overwhelmed to enjoy it at first.

However, the last several days that they were here were super great. I was so much more relaxed when I didn't have school to worry about. Also, I spent 2 nights with them in the hotel which was fun. It was really really good to see them and to spend time together as a family. Also it was good to show them a bit of what my life is like here. I am sooooooooooooooooo(etc.) unbelievably glad that they got to come!

But now comes the hard part: This week is going to be insane. I have a lot of studying to catch up on since I have exams Thursday and Friday. I never feel prepared for exams, but this time I REALLY don't feel prepared. Agh! Also, Saturday Erin and I leave for London/Switzerland, and we still have a lot of planning to do. Plus, I'd love to take some time to reconnect with some people, but I don't foresee that happening any time soon. Sigh. Please pray that this week won't eat me. I'm really afraid of it. Oh, and also please pray for my family. Currently they are in an airplane between Madrid and Chicago. They should get home around 8 or 9 tonight (Indiana time) I think. I really wish I could have gone back with them. I'm quite ready to go home. But right now I have responsibilities here. Hopefully the next 7 weeks go quickly.

Visitors!

I guess I haven't written in a while because not much has been happening. But things are happening now! Oh yes, they are! By the time most of you read this, my parents and my brother will be on the road. After a long day of travel they should arrive here in Sevilla around 9:45 Saturday morning. That's only about 24 hours from now!!!!!!! I am so very excited. Very very very very excited. It is such a blessing that I will be able to share this part of my life with them. Yay!

The other interesting thing is that our apartment with 3 people and a dog now contains 5 people and 2 dogs. Oh my. Yesterday afternoon Carmen's daughter Fabi and her husband Sergio (and their dog Tango) came. They are staying until Sunday I think. We hardly all fit around the supper table last night! It's so awkward to have them here...and it's especially strange to have a man in the house. But they are nice people. They talked to us a bit last night, and I could understand them much better than I can understand Carmen. It was kind of funny though because Carmen was telling them about how Erin and I aren't very picky eaters, and how I will try anything. I can thank my Dad for that...eating adventurously is great! But anyway, I guess we'll survive their visit. And starting tomorrow I'll have something better to distract me!

Classes have been pretty laid back this week after the exams of last week. That is a good thing because I've been pretty tired this week and not very motivated to study. Oh, here's something interesting: In Cuentos the other day, Jose was telling us about animal sounds. It hadn't really occurred to us that the animals in Spain speak Spanish too. For example, dogs say "Guau, guau," sheep say "Beeee," pigs say "Oing," and roosters say "kikiriqui." We got a little silly then and starting asking him about other animals like elephants and monkeys. I really wanted to ask him what a rhinocerous says. It was fun and interesting. And now we have all aquired the useful skill of speaking to animals in Spanish. Maybe I'll be able to understand Boli and Tango now.

Wednesday afternoon I was in a bad mood, but I rediscovered an old trick that certainly helped cheer me up. I was in the mood for some sort of fresh food (we've been eating a lot of canned fruit lately) so I stopped at a grocery store to buy myself an apple. But I couldn't figure out to use the scale so I sadly had to leave without my apple. However, when I passed the next grocery store, I decided to try again, and I met with success! The apple was okay. But the best thing was that the apple had a sticker on it, and I put it on my hand, and my mood improved tremendously! And don't worry, my First South girlies, I saved the sticker for you!

If you're interested, here are some things you can pray about: 1) pray that my family has a safe trip here and that we have a wonderful time together. And 2) please pray for continued adjustment to the roommate situation. I love Erin so much and would not want to live with anyone else, but the adjustment has been much harder than I expected it to be. So prayers are appreciated. Thank you so much, everyone! I love you all!

The Beach and Becoming Braver

It is Monday. And I am glad. Like always. But I think almost anyone could be happy about this Monday because this Monday marks the beginning of the week in which my family will arrive. Yay!

I feel like a lot happened this weekend. But that is a good thing because it kept me from getting bored. Thursday night I met with Pablo, and I actually enjoyed it! We just got coffee, but it was a lot less awkward than the last few times. We spoke in English which I guess was part of what made it better. But I feel like now it will be more comfortable to speak to him in Spanish next time because the relationship feels a little more balanced. I think it will be easier to ask him to help me now that I've helped him. And several times during the conversation he randomly said something about bowling. I think it would be fun to go bowling with him!

Friday was pretty uneventful although I was in a really bad mood. I think I was just tired mostly. The long week of exams and such finally caught up to me. School seemed pretty worthless because it was the day after exams and nobody wanted to do anything. The only good thing about Friday was finding a new ice cream store called Raya.

Saturday was a good day. I went to Cadiz with Sarah, Chrissa, and Anna. Cadiz is a town about an 2 hours south of here that is surrounded by the ocean on 3 sides. We rode the train there which was super fun (way better than the bus rides of last week). We wandered around the city for a while (and got a little lost), went to an art museum (where we saw paintings by Zurburan and Murillo...our next two painters in Art class) , ate our sandwiches in a plaza, and then spent the afternoon at the beach. It was a pleasant day and very relaxing. Well, I guess that's not entirely true. I had trouble relaxing because a) I felt like I had about a million other things I should be doing, b) my feet hurt because my flip flops are junk and not ideal for lots of walking, and c) I was super paranoid about getting sunburnt. But I applied sunscreen religiously, and in the end I was fine. The ocean was really cold, but we did get in for a while because we didn't want to miss out. And it actually felt pretty good after sitting out in the sun. Cadiz is much different from Toledo in the fact that it really isn't very touristy at all. Because of this, we had difficulty in finding a place that was open to get food in the evening. Finally we just ended up getting ice cream at Burger King. I don't even like Burger King in the States. But it did taste pretty good. The train ride back was nice, and we got home around 10:45. It was a long day, but I know it was very good for me to get away.

The most important thing about Sunday is that Erin and I were roommated. We came home from church and not only were there two beds in my room, but Carmen had moved all of Erin's stuff into the room, and rearranged my stuff too. Oh my. We laughed about it a lot yesterday. It is such a blessing that we get along so well! But we also felt like we were tripping over each other. The room is not very big. It's going to take some adjustment because we were both really enjoying having alone time sometimes. But we'll be okay. And I finally worked up the courage (thanks to some encouragement from some Taylor friends) to ask Carmen what exactly is going to happen in the other room. So now we know that her daughter and her daughter's husband are coming Thursday but only staying until Sunday. Then they are coming back during Semana Santa. Now we know.

I feel like I've been a lot braver about a lot of things lately. This morning I decided to ask the 20 Minutos guy his name when he handed me my periodico. He gave me a strange look, but he told me his name was Gaulo (I think). So I said, "Buenos dias, Gaulo," and he laughed at me. But now I'm going to say it every day. I was pretty proud of myself.

I'm also hoping that this newfound bravery will still be present when I return to the States. Right now I am sometimes so frustrated by my inability to communicate in classes or in other life circumstances because I literally don't know how to say what I want to say. I'm hoping that when I come home, I will be more willing to say the things I want to share because I'll actually be able to. I guess we'll see.

And...I guess that's about it. I'm not really sure what this week is going to hold. I think that classes are going to be fairly laid back so hopefully that will give me time to catch up on all the other things I haven't been doing. And I'll have more time to be excited about my family coming!!!!!

Prayers in a Package

Whew. I survived. Well, I suppose that remains to be seen. But the important thing is that the tests are done. That's good for sure. What is bad is that I still have about a gazillion things to do. I have some more homework to do that I've been putting off with all my studying and such. I have to meet with Pablo tonight (I'm not completely dreading, but I'm certainly not excited about it. Actually that might be a lie. I might be dreading it.). I have a list of no fewer than 11 people that I need to email. And there should probably be more people on that list. Also, travel plans should be made soon. Ugh. I guess I should just keep reminding myself that I would feel a whole lot worse if I didn't have things to do. And I'm not miserable...I'm really not. I truly am relieved that I conquered those tests once again. Now I'm halfway done!

The highlight of yesterday was that I received a package from my beautiful ladies of First South English!!! It wasn't as much of a surprise as it should have been because I sort of accidentally found out that a package might be coming and then spent the next few days trying to convince myself that it also might not be coming. But anyway...I don't have to worry about that anymore because it came!!! It was full of lovely letters from my girls. I read them all after lunch, and I cried really hard. But that was a good thing. I cried because I'd been feeling a bit lonely/lost/forgotten lately, and the letters made me feel so loved.

I was incredibly humbled by the fact that nearly every letter said something to the effect of "We pray for you everyday!" Wow. That's a lot of prayer. And I know that a lot of the rest of you are praying for me...not just the girls of First South. That's a lot lot lot of prayer. So I'm thinking that if all these people are praying for me, I shouldn't be so scared. I should just trust. And I should do this right. Because I don't want to fail you all. And I don't want to fail God. I want Him to be glorified in this. And I am thankful for your prayers. Please never stop praying.

As I read the letters I missed Taylor so so very much. But still I am overwhelmed by this feeling that I am supposed to be here. I am not supposed to be there right now. And that scares me yet again. Because I know that if I was there right now I wouldn't be happy. It wouldn't be better than this. And I wouldn't be able to make my friends happy or fix any of their problems. In fact, sometimes I wonder if some of their problems have been alleviated because I am not there. And though it is a good feeling to know that I belong here right now, it is not a good feeling to know that I don't belong in one of the places I most want to belong. And I fear coming back. What if I can never belong at Taylor again?

And while I'm rambling aimlessly, I'll also say that I have randomly been thinking about high school a lot lately. Last semester I didn't miss high school at all. I never even thought about it. But now suddenly I think about people I haven't seen since graduation, and I miss them. And I'm sad that this weekend will be the first time I've missed the SA musical since probably elementary school. It's strange. It's almost as if my whole United States life has gotten all lumped together, and I kind of forget which parts are Taylor and which parts are Berne. The good thing about this is that I do miss Berne and my family a lot more than I did at Taylor. I say that this is a good thing because I feel like I've actually been in better contact with my family than I was last semester. And I like that. Also I like that fact that they will be here in just over a week!!!!!

Sorry. This post is really random. And I'm not sure if you all would rather read things about what I'm doing or how I'm feeling. Because I fear that all this introspective emotional stuff is not what some of you have bargained for. But I guess I can't help all these emotions that I have. If you don't want to read about them, feel free to offer suggestions on more tangible things I can write about. Anyway, I'm done with exams, and I can now move on with my life. Maybe I'll find some ice cream today...

Toothbrushes y la Otra Cama

Well, I'm still glad that today is Monday, but I will admit that this past weekend wasn't really too bad. In fact, most of it was pretty good. I feel like it's been a while since I've posted so forgive me if this is a bit scattered. Also, I'm getting kind of behind on emails, postcards, etc. so if I haven't responded to something you've sent me, just hold tight. I should have more of a life after this week.

I guess that's a good place to start: this week. I'm scared of this week. Tomorrow I have a history presentation. Wednesday I have a history exam. Thursday I have Cuentos and art exams. And also Pablo....ugh. And Erin and I need to make a bunch of travel plans. I have about a zillion people to email about various things...included a possible summer job. Okay, so I guess that doesn't sound like quite as much once I write it out. But I'm still a bit afraid that this week is going to eat me.

Anyway...Toledo. (For those who don't know...Toledo is a city an hour or so from Madrid. It was officially an "art class trip," but everyone else came too.) Toledo was pretty good. We left at an unreasonable hour on Friday (6:30 am), and it took us about 6 hours to get to Toledo. I had hoped to get some homework done on the bus, but I didn't even try, and I still felt sick. That was not fun. The highlight of the trip there was stopping in La Mancha to see Don Quixote's windmills. That was pretty sweet actually.

When we got to Toledo we settled into the hotel and ate our sandwiches, and then we all marched over to La Iglesia de Santo Tome to see a painting by El Greco. I continue to be fascinated by these opportunities I'm having to actually see the things that I learn about in class. I'm thinking this has got to be much better than taking Art as Experience at Taylor when all we'd get to do is look at pictures in books.

After the tour we had the rest of the evening to wander around. Toledo is much different from Sevilla because a) it is very (very, VERY) touristy, b) it is very hilly, and c) it was a little chilly. It was fun though to explore a new city, do some shopping, get lost in the crazy narrow streets, etc. We also tried some very yummy pastries.

Friday night/Saturday morning in the hotel were highlights for me because being in a hotel with a bunch of girls reminded me so very much of being back on First South. (Oh, girlies, I miss you sooooo much!) We were assigned rooms randomly, but my room was right across a little patio from Sarah's room, and we could cross between the rooms by climbing through the windows! Anyway, Friday night there were about 7 of us sitting around in the room playing silly little middle school slumber party games to find our "soulmates." It was ridiculous, but it was also a lot of fun. One of my very favorite parts of the whole trip was that Sarah and I discovered that we have the same toothbrush, and we use the same kind of toothpaste. We got to brush our teeth together Saturday morning, and that too reminded me of living in a dorm again. I really miss living in a dorm. We had breakfast in the hotel, and I had cereal for the first time in nearly 7 weeks! I love cereal!

The main event for Saturday was a tour of the Cathedral where we got to see another Greco painting. That too was neat, although in both churches we all felt kind of silly wearing our goofy headset things that helped us hear Carmen better. The somewhat discouraging thing though was that hearing Carmen talk about all these things just made me think of how much studying I need to before Thursday's test. Agh!

Saturday afternoon involved more wandering around, more shopping, more getting lost, more eating. It was a good day, and the weather was great. And then around 4 we left to come home. It was another long bus ride that felt like wasted time because we couldn't do any studying. But then we played goofy word games and such so it was as fun as a 6 hour bus ride can be I guess.

It was so weird to come "home" to Sevilla. In a way it was nice to be back in a comfortable place. But in a way it wasn't nice to have to come back to what has become "real life." It's such a weird feeling. I don't really know where I belong anymore. But the good thing is that Saturday night I had a dream and part of it was in Spanish. I've heard that you can tell someone's true language by either what language they dream in or what language they swear in. And since I don't swear...I guess I've got to count on dreams. (I've certainly got plenty of those!) In my dream I was in the library (that's pretty realistic), and I was talking to the library lady half in Spanish and half in English. So I guess I'm starting to feel at home here. Or something.

Yesterday wasn't a super day. I was feeling really overwhelmed because it just seems like I have so much to do this week. In church I was just feeling really worn down and totally lost...as far as my relationship with God. And I missed people so much. I felt so broken. But I think that brokenness can be a good thing. And as a song I love says, "If I wasn't drowning, I wouldn't need Him to save me." I do need Him to save me. And I seem to learn that more every day. At least...I hope I'm learning that more every day.

Yesterday afternoon Sarah and I studied art by the river. And then we went to Pans to get Intenet so I could work on my history presentation. That was okay except for the fact that Sarah's computer still hates her and so we were both just really frustrated. After supper I still had more to do, but Sarah and I decided that we needed a treat so we got gelato with Erin. That cheered me up a bit.

Oh, but the really ridiculous thing about last night? You may or may not remember my story about the time when Carmen rearranged the furniture in my room, and Erin and I thought we were going to be roommates. Well, every day we would come home from school expecting to see the beds moved, but nothing ever happened so we assumed that I had misunderstood her. Well, I guess I understood perfectly when she said "Otra cama aqui." Last night Carmen came in and told us that soon another bed will be moved into my room because her daughter and her daugter's husband are coming to stay in Erin's room. Oh my. When she left, Erin and I just cracked up! We were right all along! We will soon be roommates. We don't mind that. What we do mind is the fact that there will be other people in the house and we might have to share the bathroom. We haven't yet figured out if they are just coming for a visit (they live in Madrid), or if they are coming to stay. I'm sure it will be fine, but life is about to change quite drastically.

Um...finally. I think that is about it. Ugh. Life is ridiculous. That's not a bad thing. But it's a fact for sure. I'll appreciate prayer for this week's tests and such. I love you all and pray all is well!

La Giralda...and return to normal feelings

Lest you erroneously presume that all is sunshine and roses here in Spain and I'm so happy to be here that I'm never going to come back...you may now rest assured. I'm definitely coming home in May. Monday and Tuesday were awesome days. I was just in a super joyful mood. But yesterday...not so much. Yesterday was another one of those days when I was just sort of melancholy, and I really missed people. Especially people from Taylor. Yet somehow, the melancholity (that has got to be a word, right?) was sort of comforting. It felt normal and kind of comfortable. So I don't think it was a bad thing.

And there were good things yesterday. The best thing was that we went as an Art class to the Cathedral. Sarah and I had gone by ourselves a couple weeks ago, but it was so much better when we had Carmen (la profesora) to explain things to us. The building is huge and beautiful, and we got to see sweet things like King Ferdinand's flag and Christopher Columbus' remains. It was really great.

And the sweetest part of the whole thing? We got to go up La Giralda! For those of you who don't know, the Cathedral of Sevilla was built on top of a mosque. The only part that is left of the mosque is La Giralda, which is the tower that the guy would go in to call the Muslims to prayer. It's huge and beautiful. Instead of stairs it has ramps because back in the day they used to go up it using horses. I'm glad we didn't have to do that. Scoops was enough last semester. I don't plan to ride a horse again any time soon. But anyway, the tower was incredible. We could see the whole city, and it was beautiful. I really hope I get to go back again.

The good thing about today is that I received some very encouraging emails. And tomorrow we go to Toledo! I'm so excited about getting out of here for a while. And staying in a hotel. That will be fun. The thing I'm not looking forward to is exams next week. But I survived them once, I supposed I can do it again. Yep. I'm no longer gushing with joy. But I'm okay.

Helado en la Lluvia

I might be a bit crazy. Yesterday was a Monday. And it rained all day. And I loved yesterday for both reasons. Yesterday was a very good day. I am happy.

I suppose school wasn't that special yesterday. I was just glad to be back in the swing of things. And I was happy because it was Monday. Then right after lunch I went to the library. But on the way I decided to stop at McDonald's for a cheap ice cream cone. It was pouring rain, but I decided ice cream was a good way to celebrate a Monday. Eating an ice cream cone in the rain is an incredibly pleasant thing to do. I am of the opinion that everyone should do it at least once in their life. It's probably better if the rain is in Spain, but I suppose any old rain will do. The library wasn't quite as productive as I had hoped, but it was okay. Maybe I'll go back today!

I went to the nursing home again last night, and it was probably the best time so far. As I was walking there, I decided that I was going to be much more intentional about talking to people. And it worked! I had a pleasant conversation with a 91-year-old woman who warned me not to get sick when my feet are wet. And I also had a nice talk with some women who were sure I couldn't be older than 16. That really made me feel at home because some of the people at the Upland nursing home think I look like I'm 12. I guess this crazy time difference is good for one thing: it's helped me age 4 years!

It was so encouraging to be able to understand people more last night. I feel like I'm learning so much Spanish. There are still un monton (That's my new favorite Spanish word. It means "a whole ton" or "a bunch") of words I don't know...a lot of things I can't say, but I feel like I'm understanding more every day. That's a good thing. Sometimes in class I don't even realize that the professors are speaking in Spanish. I still have trouble understanding Carmen, though. Guess I can't have everything...

Another encouraging thing is the way that God provided a really good time at the convent last night. I feel like I'm learning to trust Him more. He is so good. I've been thinking back to last semester and all the times that I seriously considered not coming here. I'm so glad that Jesus didn't let me back out. This is not at all to say that things are perfect here. It's still hard. I still miss you all so much. So very very much. But I am glad to be here. God is good. And He is teaching me so much. I feel like last semester I had such a small view of life. I was so caught up in a lot of things that made life seem so small. But now I feel like God must have some sort of bigger plan. I don't know what it is. But He is good.

Alergias

I've figured out the problem. I'm allergic to weekend. There are a few things that can be used to treat this allergy: pizza, gelato, bus rides, the Echo, writing letters/postcards, Catch-22, and chocolate frosting. But the only real cure is a Monday. Yay! It's Monday!

It wasn't really a bad weekend. It's just that yet again, the weekend brought this tremendous flood of missing people. Yet still amidst all the homesickness, I still feel like I'm supposed to be here. And there were even several times this weekend when I was happy to be here. Yep. That's right. I'm happy to be here. That doesn't mean it's easy. But hopefully that means that I'm learning to trust Jesus just a little bit more.

Anyway, the plan for Friday was to eat in a pizzeria by Sarah's house and then go to a movie. But go figure, the pizza place was closed when we went at 7. (Because nobody here eats supper until around 9). So we hiked out to the movie theater instead, but when we couldn't agree on a movie, we just wandered around the mall. That was the time when I was feeling really allergic to the weekend. I just got in kind of this weird funk and missed people from home so much. But when we (Sarah, Erin, Chrissa, Kaitlyn, and I) finally came back and had pizza, that cheered me up. The pizza was AMAZING!!! Sarah and I shared a vegetable pizza. Yum! That definitely helped me feel better. Plus, it was just fun to eat out of the house with friends for once. I really miss that about Taylor...the whole eating together as a wing thing. And the whole getting to decide what you want to eat thing.

After pizza, Sarah and I went to get gelato. That also cheered me up greatly!!!! I love gelato! After that we didn't feel like going home. But we also didn't feel like going to a bar or a cafe. So we decided to hop on a bus. We jumped on the first bus that came...had no idea where it was going...it was great! We felt like we were going so fast (probably because it was the first time in weeks that we'd been in a moving vehicle), and it was so much fun! But then, we got out to the other end of the city (close to the movie theater) and the bus driver turned the lights off so we had to get out. And we walked back once again. It was really funny and lots of fun!

(Oh, also, Friday afternoon was really relaxing because I spent it sitting by the river, reading the Echo, and writing letters. How nice!)

Saturday was nothing special. I slept in which was good. And then I got really sad/irritated again when Sarah, Erin, Chrissa, and I went out to study. I just missed people again I guess. I was sad and exhausted and went to bed early that night.

Sunday was not bad. Erin and I met Sarah in the park before church to listen to a sermon in English. And then we went to church...the same one we've been to the past 2 weeks. That was really good because there was a guest speaker who was so easy to understand. I took a long nap after lunch and then I did some studying. Later I just had to get out of the house so I went for a walk and sat in the Puerta de Jerez to read Catch-22. That was relaxing. When I came back, we had supper which included cake with chocolate frosting leftover from the neighbor's birthday. Yum! That was the last thing that helped cheer me up. And now it is Monday so I am currently very happy!

Sorry that was very kind of haphazardly written. I just wanted to kind of spit everything up here. I always get really spastic with my computer time on Mondays because I haven't been online all weekend. And this weekend I hardly even saw my computer since Sarah was borrowing it because hers wasn't working. So hopefully this makes at least a little sense.

Things I am looking forward to: the library this afternoon, La Torre del Oro tomorrow, La Catedral on Wednesday, Toledo this weekend, and my family coming in less than 3 weeks!!!!! I miss you all. But I am glad to be here.

Diferencias

I've been thinking in lists lately. So I thought perhaps you might enjoy reading one of my lists. This is a list of things that have changed in me since I've been here. I'm probably kind of building this up. It's not going to be that exciting. But these are some things I've found interesting so I thought you might as well.

1. Fruit Cocktail: In the States I don't like fruit cocktail. Maybe we had it too often in high school. Or maybe I just really don't like canned pears. But I've never been a fruit cocktail person. However, here in Spain I really like it. Carmen sometimes gives it to us for dessert, and it's so yummy. I guess it's just better in Spain.

2. Keys: I've always been bad with keys. Ever since the time when I accidentally locked Matthew and myself in his bedroom, I've been bad with them. That's probably because I never ever lock anything. But here I've gotten pretty good at unlocking our apartment door.

3. Maps: Another thing I've always been bad it is reading maps. I have a terrible sense of direction, and I'm not usually good at knowing where I am. But here I am improving greatly. I love the feeling of knowing street names and being able to come up with shortcuts to places. I'm starting to feel a bit at home here. Side note: Best street name ever? La Avenida de Jose Maria Martinez Sanchez Arjona. Yes, that's a real street.

4. Tobacco Stands: I frequent tobacco stands. Well, "frequent" isn't exactly true. But I do visit them often. But not to buy tobacco. These stands are the best place to buy stamps. And sometimes to put more money on my phone.

5. Meat: I eat so much more meat here than I've ever eaten in my life. I think this past Saturday was the very first day since I've been here that I didn't eat meat (because Carmen was gone and I got to serve my own food). That might have even been the first time that I didn't have meat twice in one day. I miss eating vegetables. I don't think I'll still eat meat so much when I come home.

6. Light Nazi: During orientation they told us that it is really important to always turn off the lights when we leave a room because electricity is really expensive. I'm always getting on Erin's case for forgetting to turn off her light. I think that is probably something I'll still do when I come home. I mean, saving electricity is always good, right?

7. Texting: I never thought I would be one of those people who texted a lot. Especially not one of those people who texts while walking. And I don't text a whole lot (I'm still really slow at it), but I do it more here than I ever have in my life. It's a lot easier to contact my friends here that way and cheaper than calling them.

8. Mondays: I like Mondays. Weekends seem long. Weekends are also when I don't have Internet. So for this reason, I like Mondays more than I ever have in my life.

9. Attention span: I used to be able to study for hours at a time. Now I can't study for more than like an hour or two without completely losing my focus. Maybe that has something to do with being in foreign country?

Hmm...there are probably other things I could put on this list, but that's all I have for now. Sorry if that was kind of anticlimactic. I can't believe how fast this week has flown. It's already Friday! Tonight some of us are going to a pizzeria for supper and then to see a movie I think. I'm really looking forward to it. I'm not sure what else is going to happen. But hopefully the weekend won't seem too long. Love you all!

Being Aquí and Why I'm never getting a dog

So I think that this is quite possibly the first time in my life that I have not been such a huge fan of weekends. Here in Spain, weekends are much harder than weekdays. On the weekdays, things are pretty much scheduled for me, and I don't really have to make a lot of decisions. Plus, it's really not much different than being at Taylor...I just go to class basically. But the weekends are when I would be hanging out with people, seeing people, being with you all. So weekends are when I miss you most. I miss watching movies on First South, I miss spending all of Saturday in the library, I miss eating popcorn with my Mom on Sunday, etc. And here I can't do that. The weekends are when it is easiest for me to long for home.

However, with that being said, this weekend I also noticed that even when I long to be home, I am still seized with this completely overwhelming feeling that this is EXACTLY where I am supposed to be right now. I don't belong anywhere else but aqui (here) right now. I don't understand it. I don't know why God wants me here. But I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt, that He does. I KNOW that if I was at Taylor right now, it would be wrong, and I would not be happy. I suppose these thoughts should be comforting. And in a way they are. But in a way they aren't because...I'm just confused mostly. I know God wants me here. But why? What in the world is He doing?

Something else that I noticed this weekend (this is a little less deep), is that I hate dogs. Carmen went to visit her sister this weekend so Erin and I had the apartment to ourselves on Saturday night. That was nice. Except we didn't actually have the apartment to ourselves because Boli was there. Boli is usually a pretty calm, nice dog, but whenever Carmen leaves for more than like half an hour, Boli cries and makes horrible noises that a dog should not be able to make. Anyway, when we tried to go to sleep, we couldn't because Boli wouldn't shut up. So I got out of bed and sat on the couch with her on my lap until she fell asleep. But when I tried to dump her off my lap, she woke up and followed me into my room whining. Ugh. So, I got a blanket and curled up on the couch and let Boli sleep on my feet. I can't believe I would do something like that for a dog! I finally fell asleep, and when I woke up around 2, she seemed to be sleeping soundly enough that I could sneak out from under her and go back to bed. Ugh. Stupid dog. That is why I am definitely going to have a kitty when I grow up, and not a puppy.

Other weekend highlights included a Skype date, going in the cathedral with Sarah, an awesome brownie from Las Palomas, lots of time to read and relax, and learning that the ice cream at Rodilla doesn't taste as good as it looks. Oh, also, meeting with Pablo was a lot better this time. It was still awkward, but we decided to speak in Spanish right from the beginning so I felt like it was a lot more helpful. I think I'll probably still dread it next time, but it wasn't terrible. Nothing was terrible this weekend. There were a lot of good things. But, I can also say (for probably the first time in my life) that I'm really glad it's Monday.

Un Mes

Today is February 20. That is a special day. I left home exactly one month ago today. And exactly one month from today...my family brings a little bit of home to me!!!!!

So we have this weird time thing going on again. I've been here a month already. I guess it has gone pretty fast. But I feel like it's been a long time too. It's been a month since I've eaten Sunday popcorn or cereal, a month since I've ridden in a car, a month since I've read the comics, a month since I've walked the streets of beautiful Berne, a month since I've been in the same time zone as those I love, over a month since I've wandered the sidewalks of Taylor and the hallowed corridors of Mary Tower English Hall, over a month since I hugged my sweet wingmates goodbye...sigh.

Then again, a lot of good things have happened in this month too. It's been a month of making new friends, of exploring a beautiful city, of eating lots of ice cream, of learning how to understand (if not speak) this foreign new language, of...well, lots of good things really. As much as I don't really feel like being here today, I know that I'm supposed to be here, and that is a good thing to know.

And my family comes in just a month! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THEM!!!!! I imagine that this month will probably go a lot faster than I think. There are a lot of things to look forward to: more exploring, more ice cream, more learning, school trip to Toledo, a free trip to the movies that we got for winning the scavenger hunt, more 20 Minutos (if I get up early enough), more trips a la biblioteca etc., etc. Though one thing I will never look forward to is Pablo. We're meeting tonight, and I am dreading it something awful. Ugh.

In other news...Erin and I are going to...London? Our goal is to go to Switzerland over Semana Santa so we were looking for cheap flights last night. We found a flight from Sevilla to London for zero euros. Yep...zero euros. What does Ryanair gain by giving away flights? Of course, by the time they tack on all the taxes and fees and such it ended up being more like 30 each. But still, that's not so bad. And then today Erin found tickets from London to Basel for about 7 euros a piece (and no taxes!). The thing is that we'll be in London for a few days before that flight. But that's cool I guess. I never thought I would go to London. This is crazy.

Sorry. This post probably seems really scattered. I accidentally slept late this morning (so I got to school only 50 minutes early instead of 2 hours) so I've been kind of frazzled ever since. Ugh. I don't know what to do with myself. I miss people. I don't really know what this weekend is going to hold. I'd be looking forward to it so much more if only it didn't hold Pablo...

Los Examens

The good news is that I survived exam week. The tests were all pretty intense and a lot of writing, but I think I did okay. It wasn't so much that the tests were hard, it's just that I'm not sure if I wrote enough. The most intense one was the Art exam for which we had 4 images to identify. We had 11 minutes for each image to write down EVERYTHING we knew about it. It was crazy. They were pictures of things such as La Giralda and La Cupula de la Capilla de Villaviciosa (say that 5 times fast!). We had to say who built it, when it was built, materials used, and identify all of the different art things. It was tough, but I felt good when it was done. A really great feeling is that it seems to me that the tests weren't hard because they were in Spanish, they were just hard because it was a lot of information to remember and write down. This is encouraging. I feel like already I have learned so much Spanish, and I was so proud of myself to look down at a whole page of Spanish I had written. I don't know when we'll get our grades back, but I feel okay about things for now.

The bad news is that being done with exams wasn't quite as awesome as I thought it would be. I had kind of built it up in my mind that everything was going to be perfect after exams were done. And for the most part, yesterday was a good day. It was sunny, I wore my new shoes, I finished exams, I got to read the Echo, I got to Skype with my family, I got an ice cream cone for 80 cents, I went to the library, I got to talk to Wolfie, etc. But there was still homework to do (actually...I don't really mind studying), and I still have Pablo hanging over my head. I'm seeing him again on Friday afternoon and have been dreading it for a week. I don't know why he flusters me so much. It's only about an hour out of my life every 2 weeks or so. It shouldn't be that big of a deal. But I feel like he's always hanging over my head. (And I still wish Pablo was that intriguing 20 Minutos guy. Today he was passing out free candy with the free newspaper! What could be better?)

One interesting thing is that yesterday when I was talking to Wolfie, he said something to the effect of "You've already grown a lot. If you came home today, it would have been worth it." But when he said that, I said, "You know what? I don't think I'm ready to come home today. I feel like there is a lot more I am supposed to learn here." So I guess that's a good thing.

But the bad thing is that I only felt that way for a couple hours. And then I got sad again. It seems that every time I get to talk to my family or my friends, it's really great. But after I talk to them, I feel sad. I guess it's like talking to them reminds me of what I'm missing. Sigh. So I suppose the solution is to just stop talking to people from home. But something tells me that wouldn't be so great either. I'm just frustrated by the fact that every time I start to feel good about being here, I start to feel sad again. Sigh.

The Fourth Weekend

I can't believe that this was really our fourth weekend here. Time is such a funny thing. In some ways I feel like that time has gone so fast, but in other ways I feel like we've been here forever. And in a lot of ways I feel like it is still forever until I get to come home. The other weird (stupid, irritating, annoying, etc.) thing about time is the time difference. I still hate the feeling of waking up when all the people I love are still sleeping and going to bed while you are all still going about your days. I feel like I'm not even in the same world as you.

But anyway, it was a pretty good weekend. Since we didn't have school on Friday (!!!) it began after class Thursday. Sarah, Erin, and I bought a cheap blanket at the Chino, and then we took our computers to the park and watched a movie. It was so relaxing and nice!

Friday was not exactly what I expected it to be, but it was still nice. I got up fairly early and went to the park to study for a while. It was a beautiful day, but a bit chilly for sitting outside. I was kind of discouraged though because I used to be able to study in the library for hours (4, 6, 8) at a time, but now I can't study for more than like an hour and a half without getting bored. Anyway, I got bored and cold in the park so then I went to the library. I love the library. I should hang out there more often. In the afternoon Erin and Sarah and I went out for lunch at this excellent Chinese restaurant. It was so funny to be sitting in Spain eating Chinese food, but it was yummy (and cheap!). We were going to go see this castle place, but we didn't have time to do that before it closed so we just went to the library again, and then we sat in the park.

Saturday was a lot of fun because we went to the Mercadillo (Gypsy market). It was this huge outdoor market where they sold basically everything. It was so much fun!!!! It was perfect day to be outside (probably in the upper 70's), and it was wonderful. I ended up buying these goofy gray sneakers that are so comfortable...kind of like sweatshirts for my feet. I also bought a shirt that I probably wouldn't have bought if I had tried it on, but oh well. It was a really pleasant way to spend the morning.

Yesterday was a very interesting day. We went to a church that is very close to our house. I really really liked the service...it was the best out of the 3 churches I've visited so far. I felt like I could understand very well, and the worship was so good. The people there seemed very genuine. Sarah and I want to go back next week, but we feel kind of bad because it is a very small church, and a lot of students already go there. We'll see.

The interesting thing though was that after church there was a lunch for "foreigners." That was very nice. We met some other American students...the city seems to be crawling with them! Anyway, there was a little program thing where people from different countries spoke. We had people from Bolivia, Columbia, Peru, Ecuador, Chile, El Salvador, France, England, and the US. It was interesting, but the whole thing lasted 2.5 hours, and it got really hard to focus and pay attention. Erin and I were the people who had to present about the US. We did it in English and a girl from the church translated. It was very awkward but fine. I realized some things during it thought that I'll try to write about later. Anyway, we were at church from 11 until 5:15. It was a long day. In the evening, we went out for pastries and coffee for Sarah's birthday. It was nice.

The one thing I didn't do this weekend was study. Exams are this week, and I am so afraid! I have History tomorrow and Cuentos and Art on Wednesday. I think they are going to be so crazy much writing, and I just don't think I'm going to be able to remember everything. I've been totally slacking off on my studying lately. I miss the Emily who could study all the time without getting tired. Erin keeps telling me, "You shouldn't worry about it too much. There's more to Spain than school." I know she's right, but I also know that I basically haven't been doing ANY schoolwork. Sigh. I'm going to feel so much better once exams are over. Please pray.

I was in sort of a weird mood much of this weekend. I miss you all so much, and I thought about that a lot this weekend. Another thing I've been thinking about is all the pressure I feel to "make the most of this opportunity." I know that this is a blessing, a once in a lifetime thing, but still. It is hard to be happy all the time. It is hard to not get discouraged when I miss people. I feel like I KNOW all the things I'm supposed to be feeling/believing/doing, but it is so hard to actually practice them. Sigh. I miss you all. May is still an eternity away.

Los Ancianos

So I don't remember what I've written here about the service learning class I am taking. There was a bunch of complicated stuff because I thought I wasn't going to be able to take it and then I was and then I wasn't, but now I am, and it is good. Every Monday evening I will be going to a Convent for Ancianos (the Elderly) to help out with supper. This past Monday was my first night.

We met at 5:30 to have a tour of the convent. That was a bit overwhelming because I didn't understand a lot of what the Mother Superior was saying. But in other ways, it was so wonderful because it reminded me so much of Swiss Village and University Nursing Center. Oh, I love nursing homes! Me encantan ancianos!

The people who go on Tuesday and Thursdays left, but since I'm a Monday person, I stayed with Jenelle. I was pretty nervous. We started in the upstairs dining room at 7, and it was kind of awful. I almost killed a woman. The nurse told me that I had to feed the woman so that she wouldn't eat too fast. But I didn't really understand, and she seemed to be doing fine on her own. Then the nurse came over all frantic like and made choking motions like "No, no, no! She's going to choke and die!" I felt awful. So then I had to steal the fork from the woman and help her finish. She was not happy. The people in that dining room are more severely handicapped and less capable. They kept asking me things, but I could not understand anything. All I could do was smile and say "Lo siento, no se." I don't know if I couldn't understand because they were mumbling or just because I don't know any Spanish. I had no idea what I was doing, and it was horrible. I felt so stupid because I couldn't understand anyone. I almost cried. The only thing that was nice was when a couple people would smile at me. Smiles are glorious. But at that point I was really wondering what in the world God was trying to do.

At 7:40 we got to go to the downstairs dining room. That is where the more capable people eat. It was so wonderful!!!! We started talking to the ladies who work there, and they were very nice. I felt like I could understand so much better. Jenelle and I followed them around while they served the food so everyone could ooh and aww about how "guapa" these new Americanitas were. Our job was to bus tables after they ate. Then at the end of the night we set up for breakfast the next day. It was so good. It reminded me soooo much of Swiss Village!

I think this is going to be an awesome opportunity. On the one hand, it will take me out of my comfort zone because it will force me to speak Spanish. But on the other hand, it puts me right into my comfort zone because even in Spain, nursing homes are much the same. I'm excited to do this...excited to serve...excited to get to know people there. Praise God for this opportunity!

Yesterday (Tuesday) was an incredible day. I had Skype dates with my parents and my friends at school, I got 2 Valentine's Day cards in the mail, I had a chocolate muffin, an Oreo, gelato with Sarah, and Carmen made us Flan, our prayer group met for the first time, AND it was sunny! But, after the wonderful day, I had kind of a rough night because I started feeling really sad and lonely and upset about some stuff I thought I wouldn't have to deal with anymore. Prayers are still greatly appreciated. I love you all!

Account of a blind date and other weekendness

So it's a real struggle to get used to this whole not having Internet all the time thing. That is definitely something I take for granted in the States. Now that I've been offline for about 3 days I feel like I could have a lot to say.

I suppose you have all been waiting with baited breath to hear about Pablo. Or even if you haven't, I guess you'll get to now. Oh my...what an absurd situation! Essentially, I went on a blind date with a 29-year-old Spanish man!

I got to the square early on Friday so I just sat for a while and watched people. Every time a boy passed, I wondered if he was Pablo. Honestly, I was hoping Pablo was going to be the 20 Minutos guy who passes out free newspapers on the corner every morning because he intrigues me, but it was not to be. Anyway, at 6 I wandered over to Starbucks. There was a guy standing outside the door so we made eye contact really awkwardly several times, and then he finally said, "Emily?" It was Pablo! We walked into Starbucks, and he bought us coffee. We were both very confused about the whole thing so in the end I spoke in Spanish, and he spoke in English. I gathered that he is a 29-year-old man who is currently working as a computer guy at a school, but would someday like to work for the city of Sevilla. Oh my. It was so ridiculously awkward, although not necessarily in the way I thought it would be. It wasn't really much different than making awkward small talk with any random strange guy except for there was the whole language barrier thing too. Oh dear. He was really nice, but I'm not necessarily just bursting to see him again. Although I think next time it would be more helpful if we just picked one language and stuck to it. Oh my. We were there for about 45 minutes when he asked me if I had to be anywhere afterwards. I said no and then spent the next 20 minutes mentally kicking myself for that. Finally, around 7:10 I said, "Uh...I should probably go to the library..." (I really did have something to return). He jumped up like he had just been waiting for me to say something. When we walked out of the restaurant and parted ways, I just burst out laughing. It was such an absolutely absurd situation! But like Dad always says, "Nothing bad ever happens to writers...just new material!"

When I left Starbucks, I did go to the library, and I sat there reading for a while. I love the library so much! I walked back home around 8:30 and felt genuinely happy. Maybe it isn't terrible to be here.

The rest of the weekend wasn't all that exciting or interesting. I'm trying to remember now what I even have to say about it. The highlight of Saturday was trying churros for the first time! For those who don't know, churros are essentially fried dough with this awesome hot chocolate sauce for dipping. Yum! Erin and I wandered around with some others and were surprised how many people were out on the streets. There were a lot of street performers and people selling stuff on the roads. It was a little like Swiss Days except not quite as awesome.

Sunday Sarah and I walked to a church that was about 45 minutes away. It was a beautiful day for a walk though. This church was much different than the one we went to last week. It was a lot more contemporary and the people seemed a lot more enthusiastic. We sat with some girls who are studying here with a different program through Cedarville University. There are so many American students in Sevilla right now! Anyway, the church was nice, but I think we're going to keep looking before we settle on one. Um...the rest of the day was spent in relaxing, reading, resting, a trip to the park, etc.

I was feeling really...pensive yesterday. I've just been realizing how important it is to be intentional. I feel like I'm not being intentional about seeking Jesus while I'm here, and that really frustrates me. But I don't know how to do better at it. And also I know that I need to be more intentional about using my Spanish, instead of only using it at school. But that's hard. However, I was also reading through some old journals yesterday, and I found a part that I had written during the time when I thought I might not get to come to Spain. It made me realize that this trip, Spain, all of this, was something that I really wanted. And now I am here. I am convinced that if I was not here, I would forever wonder what would have happened here. So it is good to be here. I am learning a lot. I am being blessed.

Grrr...I just tried to post a picture here, but Blogger won't let me. Anyone know anything about good ways to put pictures online?

Also, Correction: Happy Hippos do not contain peanut butter. It's hazelnut. But they're still incredible. Have a good week everyone! I love you all!

Alemania y la sombra de Pablo

So if it wasn't for la sombra de Pablo, I would be feeling pretty good about life right now. And when I forget about Pablo, things are looking up. But right now I have this Pablo shaped sombra (shadow) hanging over my head. (And since I've never met Pablo, I don't even know how big his sombra is.) Pablo is my "intercambio." When we started the semester we had the opportunity to sign up for an intercambio. This involves meeting once a week with a student from the University of Sevilla (I think) who wants to learn English. One week we speak in Spanish and the next in English. I wasn't crazy excited about this prospect ever but signed up because I felt like I "should." I didn't expect to get a boy. But anyway, tomorrow at 6 I am meeting Pablo at Starbucks. Oh dear. I am very nervous. I can't talk to boys in English. How am I going to talk to a strange boy in Spanish? (And since Spaniards don't go to college until later in life, he could be as old as 30!) If you think of me around 11 or noon your time tomorrow please send up a prayer for me!

But other than that, things are looking up. I am very excited because...Voy a Alemania! It all happened rather quickly, but just this morning I bought a plane ticket for Germany! Angy once said that you shouldn't get excited about someone coming to visit until they have bought plane tickets. But get excited, Angy...I'm coming to see you! I'm not going until the end of April, but I am still very excited. It feels good to have some sort of travel plan. And I am very glad that Erin was here to help me figure out Ryanair and get my tickets arranged. It feels so strange to be buying tickets to go to another country. In the States this would be such an ordeal. But here...not so much. Everyone is getting excited about traveling everywhere, and now I am excited too! Yay!

So there are lots of things to be excited about: I'm excited about Germany. I'm excited about an upcoming weekend. I'm excited to talk to my family in a couple hours. I'm excited about going to the library to get more movies today. I'm excited about playing Bingo at the hospital tonight. I'm excited about the last Happy Hippo in my desk drawer. I'm excited about starting to volunteer at the nursing home next week. I'm excited about the day it stops raining (Agh! It rains ALL the time lately!). I'm excited about putting on dry socks when I get home from school today. I'm not excited about Pablo, but I'm excited about the first meeting being over. And maybe it won't be so bad. Jesus is here with me, and I think things are good.

(By the way, the mystery letter was from Rachel Wenger. Thanks, Rachel! I forgot that she was still at school in South Carolina. Yay for mail!)

Rabbits and a lack of motivation

Hmm...I don't really know what's wrong with me. It is only the second week of classes, and already I feel so disgustingly unmotivated. I'm so tired, and I'm not really sure why. Last night I got almost 9 hours of sleep! Carmen (the professor, not the senora) told us that it is bad for you to sleep a lot during siesta so I've been trying not to lately. Plus, that seems like a good time to do homework. But maybe I'll sleep today. I don't know. I just don't want to do anything...least of all Spanish. Right now I'm wondering if I was ever passionate enough about Spanish to come on this trip at all. I feel like I should be making a lot more effort to practice my Spanish, both in and out of school. But right now I don't really care. It's looking like I'll never be able to teach those children in the basement how to speak Spanish. Sorry kids.

With that being said, I guess I have learned a lot already. I mean, there are so many things I can say now that I couldn't say before. And I've only been here 2 weeks. I guess I just need to be more patient. Ugh...patience. Actually, yesterday I felt really stupid in Spanish at school, but at home it was good because I actually had a conversation with Carmen! We had rabbit (conejo) for lunch so we had a nice long discussion about where the rabbits come from. And then she randomly told me that her birthday is next week, and when I said my Dad's birthday is close to that, she asked about my family. When I told her that they are coming in March she got really excited. (I'm excited too!) So it was good.

Another highlight of yesterday was getting a letter from Rachelle! Mail is so much fun (*hint, hint*), and the note was so sweet...full of good Bible verses that were a great comfort. I got another letter today, but I can't figure out who it's from. I'm saving it for siesta today...so, thanks in advance, mystery person in South Carolina!

A lowlight of yesterday was the fact that it rained a lot so I didn't go out at all after I got back from school. I spent most of the day in my room doing homework very slowly. It was so cold in my room. I had the heater turned on and I was wearing a t-shirt, a long sleeved t-shirt, a cardigan, a hooded sweater with the hood up, and Lauren's scarf. (Of course, I probably would have been wearing Lauren's scarf even if it was really hot, but that's besides the point.) Anyway, though, I was still cold. Cold and exhausted.

Sigh. I know I need to learn to be content here. I know I need to want to want to be here. Maybe I'll work on that after I get some sleep...

A relaxing weekend

Wow...it's been an interesting weekend. Interesting in a good way. And very relaxing. I'm not even really sure where to start.

The highlight of Thursday was getting my Spanish library card with Sarah. I am now a full fledged patron of the Biblioteca Publica de Sevilla. Yay! Also on Thursday night we had a girls night where we went ice skating at the mall. It was a lot of fun. It was really good to just get out and relax and see people outside of the school. Ice skating seemed like kind of a funny thing to do in Spain, but it was quite enjoyable.

Friday was the school trip to Cordoba. That was so neat! All week in my art history class we were studying the mosque at Cordoba and seeing slides of it. It was so incredible then to see it in person! It was kind of mindblowing to be seeing these things that were built so long ago...some as early as the 8th century. It was a beautiful sunny day, and and we sort of had a little picnic outside with the lunches our senoras packed for us. I felt like a little kid on a field trip and just wished my Mom was there to write my name on my lunch for me. Also it was just so delightful to not have classes!

That evening Erin and I decided to stay in and "go to bed early." We checked out some movies from the library. One of them was broken so we couldn't watch that one. Uh...como se dice "This DVD was broken when I checked it out"? In the States I wouldn't be at all nervous about talking to library people, but it is so much different when you can't come up with the words. But anyway, after supper we watched "Finding Neverland" (in English) on my computer. And then we stayed up talking until past 3. It was so great! I love my roomie. We laughed a lot this weekend, and it was so incredible!

Oh, another thing about Friday: as we walked home after the fieldtrip, Erin and I were talking about how we are finally starting to feel a bit settled in our new home. Thus, I was quite surprised when I walked into my room and found all of the furniture rearranged! I was so surprised that I forgot to speak in Spanish, and said to Carmen, "Oh. You reaarranged!" We think that she told us that the plan is to move Erin's bed in there as well. But that hasn't happened yet so maybe we misunderstood her. That could very easily be the case. Communication with her is still so hard. I feel like in general, I can understand my professors fairly well, but for whatever reason, I cannot seem to understand Carmen worth anything. Talking to her makes me feel stupid. Sigh.

We slept in on Saturday and then did homework during the afternoon. We only left the house for about 3 hours in the afternoon so we could go to a cafe for Internet, and I could talk to Lauren and Wolfie! It was excellent. Although talking to people from home always makes me miss people a lot more too. We went back home for supper and then spent another night relaxing (coloring pictures) and giggling. I love having a roommate that I love to hang out with.

Yesterday was more successful than last Sunday as we actually found a church to go to. It was in Triana so we could walk instead of taking the bus. It was a pretty small church, but there were a lot of other students there too. The service was interesting. I could understand some of it. The main pastor was fairly easy to understand which was good. I was suprised that we sang several hymns that I knew like "How Great Thou Art," "The Old Rugged Cross," etc. (though in Spanish of course). That was kind of comforting. I also drank alcohol for the first time in my life. It was just a bit of communion wine, but it was enough to show me that I don't like alcohol at all. When we left church it was pouring rain and so nasty. By the time we got home, my pants were drenched all the way up to my pockets! Thankfully, the magical estufa dried out our pants and shoes pretty quick. That thing is amazing! Rain is nasty, but some days it still seems preferable to all the snow you all are getting!

In the afternoon we just rested/did more homework. I was really lonely yesterday, and I missed people a lot. Sigh. I hate feeling like I am missing out on everything you all are doing. But then we went out again to use Internet again so I could Skype my family. And it was wonderful to talk to them and see them!

The crazy part of last night was our Super Bowl adventure. Erin is a Steelers fan so she really wanted to see the game. I was happy to go with. We had the name of this Tex-Mex bar that we were going to go to, but when we got there, they were charging 30 euros for a "private screening." I'm not sure that's even legal, but whatever. We headed back towards school and found some other girls who were going to a bar to watch. We tagged along with them, but the bar was so crowded and loud and smoky that we left after about 2 seconds. Carmen had told us to go to Calle Betis so we tried that next and just happened to find a tiny bar where about 15 other Americans (not from our program) were watching the game. It was decently quiet, and we found seats. We got Cokes and ate snacks that we bought at Open Cor. We had gummi bears and my new favorite Spanish treat...these cookies called "Happy Hippos." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinder_Happy_Hippo). They are hippo shaped cookies filled with white chocolate and peanut butter. Pure awesomeness! First South girlies, you MUST try these some day. I'll bring some back for you. Anyway, though, we were disappointed because the game was in Spanish. And there were no comercials. So it was actually kind of boring. And also there was a lot of smoke in the bar so we felt like we were contracting lung cancer as we watched. So in the end we only stayed for the first half. But it was a fun adventure!

Um...I successfully dropped my grammar class that I'm not getting credit for. So now, here is an official class schedule:

Cuentos: 10:50-11:40
Spanish Art: 11:45-12:35
History: 1:35-2:25
Accion Solidaria (the service learning class): every other Tuesday and weekly volunteering.

This schedule feels pretty good to me. Hopefully I'll continue to adjust. I'm sad today though because second semester is starting at Taylor without me. Sigh. I miss Taylor. I miss you all. And I love you!